Sunday, October 09, 2005

Death Talk

I'm not going to touch on the wake I attended with a group of friends just now. It's just not pleasant and what I saw and heard about my friend was really disturbing. You won't see this post until a few days later as I will want to review it first when I've regained my composure and it's probably edited to not reflect my current mood.

Long ago, I've promised someone to blog about the topic 'Death' but couldn't find the right time to do it. I suppose now couldn't be a better time to fulfill my promise. Chinese are very fearful and superstitious about this topic but I don't mind discussing it at all. Why should we be fearful of death? It's something inevitable. Not discussing it does not make you an immortal. So why should we hide from something we have to face sooner or later?

I had this funny connection with death. Scary as it might sound, I could sense death. It's not exactly something to be proud of but I kind of predicted the death of a few of my loved ones even when I'm miles away and they are at the best of health. Eerie, no? However, I've fortunately (unfortunately?) found a way to overcome this 'gift' of mine and ever since then, I've no more such 'premonitions'.

Many times I've tried to convey my funeral wishes, meaning how I would like my funeral service to be when I do leave this place one day. As expected, my family and friends would try to change the topic and brush my talks of funeral arrangements as pure nonsense. I mean shouldn't I at least be given a few minutes to convey how I would like it to be organised? Too often have I seen families at a lost when confronted with organising a funeral. Too often have I seen funerals put together the way the families would like it to be, not how the dearly departed would have loved to have done it. So now, please listen to me.

It does not matter how or when or where I die, it's bound to be hard on my loved ones be it family or friends. As such, I do not want to bother them anymore than they are experiencing due to their loss. I mean, it's not enough that I've been a burden when I'm alive that my death has to be such a fuss to them too? So, I feel that my funeral should not be physically, emotionally or financially troublesome on anyone. It has to be as plain, simple and peaceful as possible. Let there be laughter! Shouldn't you be happy that I'm going to a better place? Unless of course you are envious of me! :P

So listen up, this is how I want it to be. No open casket, please. God forbid that you all have to suffer looking at my ugly dead face! But seriously, I would rather you all recall how I was through your memories than to have a glance at me for the last time when I'm lying in that coffin. I'm not an animal in the zoo, you know. Neither am I a museum exhibit! No joss-sticks or any of those burning essence stuff, please. I'm not really a fan of those stuff when I'm alive and I doubt I'll change my mind when I'm dead! What offerings to replace the joss-sticks? Well, think of flowers. Although it might not exactly be environmentally friendly but let's face it, it won't contribute to the haze the way joss-sticks will and it's clean and universally acceptable.

Music? I don't need those mantra or prayer music. All I ask for is a soothing rendition of Amazing Grace looped throughout my wake (like the one in the previous post). Please, please, please no band at my funeral! I will probably turn in my grave (coffin in this case?) if there was ever a band! The music just doesn't suit me. The soothing rendition of Amazing Grace is all I ask for...nothing more, nothing less! Oh yeah, if you feel it's totally wrong to hold only a one day wake, then make sure it's held for a maximum of three days...nothing more please or my corpse will start to rot and release a foul stench! You wouldn't want that happening, would you?

I wish to be cremated and my ashes to be scattered into the sea. The open seas off the beach of Pantai Kerachut would be really lovely. Forget about getting an urn or a memorial plaque or something like that. It will just collect dust, cost too much money and so troublesome to my next of kin to care for it. If I'm meant to be remembered, I will be. If not, then just let it's just not meant to be! No urn or memorial plaque can replace memories!

No need for obituaries. It's insanely expensive to announce your death. Let the wonders of technology do the informing instead. Acknowledgements and thank you's are a different matter. That is a must. If you are thinking of carrying my coffin, don't even think of it. I don't want you to break your back and curse me for the rest of your crippling life! It's better to let the pros handle it, no?

I guess, that about covers it. Rule of thumb: Keep it plain, simple and peaceful. If you are undecided on something I've not mentioned here, just think what I would have won't go wrong. There should be no problems with my estate since I hardly have any in the first place! By law, all will go to my mom anyway, so that settles it. She will know what to do with it.

So remember what I want for my funeral. No amount of 'God Bless You' and 'May You Rest In Peace' will be able to compensate the inability of not fulfilling my final wishes. Don't worry, I won't come back to haunt you...I'll leave your conscience to do that. I'm not asking too much, right?


  1. hey, reading this made me a little sad...
    but i do hope that your final wishes will be granted :)